A Letter For Kyra

Dear Kyra Melody,
Trust you are as wonderful as I am today. How is it going at your end? You haven't told me many things, Kyra, so long to hear your stories :) Thanks for so many lessons you've taught me, the air when I couldn't breath, the words when I couldn't speak, the tears when I hardly spill out of my own, the helping hands when I thought I don't deserve any, the chances when I have given up on me. I hope I say this line in a perfect time and place, I love you, sis :)


Kyra, on August 24th 2010 I met him. We had dinner in a pizza restaurant near our place. You were right, I felt nervous when he picked me up. My anxiety level rose while i was on his bike. And you know what, I couldn't get good sleep the nite before the date ha ha.. Kyra, we spent our first 30 minutes without having any conversation, just silly and quick question-answer time. I was forcing my brain to pick a topic, I dig, dig, and dig it deeper but found nothing. I remained silent.. Until, the pizza's coming.
Kyra, I don't remember much of his words since all I did was enjoying his voice. I really didn't want to miss a sec of the moment. Precious time.
I actually heard every line of what he said. He couldn't stop talking. He really dominated all the conversation we had. It's fine actually, since all I wanted to do is to hear his voice, near me. That's enough for me :) However, I was a bit frustrated by his words. He said so many things I didn't want to hear. The past, the reasons, the things between us, and so many things I really didn't prepare to hear. I was thinking to leave him abruptly but then I told myself to not to be a coward, I have to face it, like it or not!
Kyra, he kept talking, talking, talking, and talking, while I was keep silent and smile, silent and smile, and, silent and smile. He was a bit worry by my silence, he knew I was hiding lot of things. I couldn't see his eyes, I didn't want him to read my mind, am telling you, he's good at mind reading. All I did most of the nite are just avoiding eye contact, less speaking, pulling his leg just to disturb him. Call me lame, I was trying to defend myself from him.
Kyra, he succeeded to make me believe that I was wrong this whole time. I felt very silly, stupid, and small. He is way too far ahead from me. I've been very self-centered. Shame on me.
Kyra, the nite I texted you, I said I was scared and worried about my feelings. I meant, I'm worried if I couldn't control my feeling after the dinner. The worries came true. I couldn't control my feeling. Just like what you said, it's like polars attraction, also opposition. The thing got more uncontrolled when he said those awaited line, "Look into my eyes, til' now, the moment we're talking, I love you still." Shocked inside, tried to look cool outside. I almost cried at the moment. It seemed unfair to me. I wasn't prepared.
Kyra, I didn't say anything to respond since he didn't ask me any, I also want to keep the thing between us worked. I wanna stay in my own territory, remain still. Anyway, we didn't continue the conversation deeper. We talked another topic til the time to go home. I could sense the ice between us broke lil by lil, not all, but it kept continue progressively.
Kyra, I invited him to get in the house. It's like a dream came true to have him inside the house. It's a huge progress I suppose. We continued our chat til' midnite then I asked him to go home since he has office the next day. It's amazing how I could let him go when all I wanted him to stay longer. Now I understand what love is :)
Kyra, needless to tell you what I've been feeling inside my heart after. Needless to tell you how many tears I've been shedding. I asked God lot of questions last nite, but He hasn't answered me yet. I need to be more patient and focus to what I've decided before I spent the nite with him. Though I've been very confused, I say this in my prayer "Dear God, thank You, for letting me to have such a wonderful moment with him. Thank You for the precious time. Thank You for the feeling. And thank You for whatever You've planned me. I believe You are my Source of Needs, my Greatest Life-Planner, and my life is in Your hands."
To be honest, Kyra, not an easy task. I am learning to rearrange the scrambled puzzle. I am learning, Kyra, and won't stop trying :)


Kyra, hope I'm not bored you with my lame life stories. You've been very wonderful to me. Sorry for the sudden calls, messages, texts, asking you to get online or simply just asking for opinions. I feel bad bout it most of the time, but keeps continue to do it he he..
Kyra, you haven't telling me bout your life these days. I'm scared whether I'm no longer trustable or.. Anyway, I'm still waiting for you to let me in sometimes :) You know me better, Kyra.
Hence, let me tell you again how much I love you, I pray for you and our plan in the future. Blessed those who believe in His plan and let Him mould our lives. Soli Deo Gloria. Amen


Take care. God Bless you, Kyra.





Queen - sister in Christ :)